I write a weekly newsletter for our website, Dave Pughe-Parry ADHD Coaching and Training
While I was researching information about Teens and ADHD, I came across this question on Social Media from an anonymous parent.
“If my son is not doing well enough to be accepted into university. Not due to intelligence but due to laziness. (It’s not for lack of trying and parenting before anyone gets on that bandwagon!) We have tried everything possible to kick his ass, but you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.
Where can I send him next year after finishing matric to learn a trade? Do any companies (woodwork etc) do any apprenticeship’s these days that I could reach out too? Or any institutions that offer this? (He is very good with his hands loves EGD drawing and enjoys that type of thing so maybe we have to stop nagging about university)
I’m at an absolute loss as what to do with him next year as we can’t just let him become another unemployed statistic in South Africa and we can’t have him freeload for the rest of his life.
Thanks”
I do not know if this youngster has ADHD or not but judging by the responses from other parents this Mom was not alone.”
As an un-diagnosed ADHD Mom to 2 sons, I was very codependent, a helicopter parent in some ways, neglectful in others and spoiled them too.
My (ex) husband and I had our own business and we worked from home. Our boys had been exposed to all aspects of a small family business with a small team of engineers.
We were not super rich but our sons did not go without essentials and many “nice to haves”.
Despite mine and my ex-husbands parenting failures our sons, now in their 40s, survived and are thriving as husbands, fathers and successful businessmen in their chosen fields. I am a very proud Mom.
It took both our sons until their mid to late twenties to find their place in the world. This is very typical for many ADHD people. It is very frustrating and humiliating to watch your children struggle and fail, while their contemporaries are flying. Parenting can be very competitive from the time your little one is born.
This article is the introduction to a book I am putting together to help young adults navigate the working world. It is not only for those who have ADHD but for all those transitioning from teenagers to adults and their parents who are tearing their hair out.